You'll Never Know
by hannagrace
Summary: Serena's newfound feelings for Darien have left her lost and confused. Should she tell him what she's feeling?...inspired by what I'm feeling myself at the moment.


Hi everyone! Well, this is just a tiny story I had to write to sort out my own feelings. I'm having my own guy problems, or is it friendship problems? Ugh! Why do guys have to be so confusing anyway? Back to the point, hope you like the story. All feedback welcome! E-mail me @ hanna_grace@hotmail.com  
Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine. I'd never be talented enough to create something like Sailor Moon, but the story written here is totally mine. Please don't sue! You won't be getting much anyway; I'm flat broke.  
  
You'll Never Know  
By: Hanna Grace  
  
Multicolored-leaves danced in the air as a gentle breeze tossed them about. The sun was low on the horizon, causing the skies to invade with various hues of reds, oranges and yellows .All went by unnoticed by the solitary figure walking down the deserted sidewalk. Serena Tsukino walked slowly, with her head down, eyes never leaving the cold, dull pavement. She had just gotten out of yet another detention, but instead of going to the Crown Arcade as usual, she decided to sit by the lake in the park.   
Overall, her day had been rotten. She had slept in, and therefore was fifteen minutes late for her first period class. Once again, like it had happened for almost every day that year, Serena had gotten a detention. Furthermore, she had gotten her Algebra test back fifth period, the last period of the day, and wasn't surprised to see the big, bright-red 45% at the top of the page. To top it all off, the youma attacks seemed to have doubled lately, and Sailor Moon, her alter ego, was having a hard time battling them, even with the help of the other Scouts. However, all this seemed a minority to her.   
The only thing that her exhausted mind was thinking of was a certain dark-haired college student. His name was Darien Chiba. Serena had met him the day she became Sailor Moon; the day her carefree life was whisked away. Back then, Darien would tease her, call her names, and she would scream right back at him, calling him an egotistical, conceited jerk. Each day, they would have a fight and she would walk away, bright red from anger. Meanwhile, Darien would simply be laughing, at her.   
It was simpler to deny that she loved him then, when he was always calling her names and the possibility of him loving her back was unthinkable. Then one day, things changed. The guy Serena had been dating at the time had cheated on her, and when she found out, Darien was at her side, comforting her. After that, Serena and Darien became close friends. In what seemed like no time at all, Darien had become a protective older brother. He would be there to cheer her up when she was down, help her with her homework, or just talk. He would easily dismiss her thoughts when she confided in him about what she thought of herself; ditzy, air-headed, dumb, and clumsy. He would counter it all, saying that she was smart, caring, and pretty. He did all this while still managing to seem like the older brother.   
But lately, things hadn't been so easy. Their phone conversations would last longer, and become more revealing, and more confusing. It seemed that Darien was talking in code, confessing what he felt which made Serena's heart thump, then saying that he would always be there for her as an older brother. Now it was hard to look at him in the eyes when he would ask what was wrong, hard to find comfort in his voice when she wanted so much to be more than his 'younger sister'. Serena was finding it harder and harder to deal with Darien's compliments since his words were supposed to be laced with brotherly love; but Serena felt they were more than brotherly. Everything had gotten so confusing.   
Finally snapping out of her deep, unsettling thoughts, Serena had noticed that the sky sparkled with millions of beautiful, shining stars. A bright, silver, crescent moon hung high in the sky, adding its light with that of the stars. Admitting that she should get home, Serena wiped the tears that had escaped, stood up from the park bench and commenced her walk home.   
In about ten minutes, Serena was up in her room, sitting by her window, gazing at the beautiful night sky. Thankfully, her parents were still not home from work and her brother had already fallen asleep. Unable to fall asleep herself, Serena walked over to her desk and sat down. After turning on her stereo, she listened to the soft melodies and immediately her thoughts were back to Darien. Eyeing a piece of paper, Serena grabbed a pen and started to write. She poured her heart, soul, and mind into her writing and came up with a poem.   
  
You'll Never Know  
  
One minute you're a friend;  
No, a protective brother.  
Now, that's all changed.  
These feelings are strange,  
This wasn't supposed to happen.  
Your words say one thing  
Your actions say another.  
Confusion flows in crushing waves.  
It hurts, so much,  
To know you'll never feel the same.  
But the pain doesn't stop  
The light of hope to light-  
So the wounds are deep  
When you sniff the flame out.  
Mix signals crowd each conversation.  
Will it ever be like it was?  
Will you ever realize?  
You're the cause of this pain,  
The cause of these tears.  
But unless you figure it out;  
On your own;  
You'll never know.  
  
Serena read the poem over and over. She felt a little bit better, now that she had put her thoughts on paper. She carefully folded the piece of paper and put it inside her drawer. She wouldn't let Darien read it. She still would not, could not, tell him how she really felt. Mustering up all the determination she had, Serena came up with her decision. She would wait. She would wait until Darien would finally open his eyes and realize that the love she felt for him, the love that was not returned, was the reason things weren't the way they used to be. And if that day never comes, she would still be happy to have his friendship. Though she was in love with Darien, she was willing to settle for his friendship, as long as it meant he would be in her life. Things all happen for a reason, and she wasn't about to counter the fates.  
  
AN: I know the ending sucks. Am I a chicken? Should I leave this hanging like it is? Like I said earlier, this story was written to sort out my own thoughts. The poem's mine too by the way. Please don't copy. If I get enough feedback, I might consider writing a sequel. Let me know what you think! rmb : the e-mail addy's hanna_grace@hotmail..com  
Buh vye!  
-© Hanna Grace January 2001  



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